I moved with my music in time and space, notes to me are a representation of a position in space, tones indicate a point in time. Intervals unfold as music progresses. My view of Music was a total rebellion to my first piano teacher’s academic philosophy. In fact, she called me stupid! It was a confrontation of geniuses but also a sharpening of my perspective.
With music, the whole range of colours surged in me. So, I painted.
There was no distinction, a condition they call “synesthesia, where sound triggers color. It didn’t matter. For it was the dance of the universe weaving together time and space; the language of nature revealing itself to me.
Just as music is fluid yet pronounced so is my artistic expression- texture, movement, and centeredness amidst polarities; capturing the moment where music, colour and space come into being… budding to witness the world. To give it life, “a life of its own.”
There has never been a dull moment. To me, Time is a dynamic fabric of unfolding motion, an inner metronome ticking, initiating movement’ and necessitating movement in harmony with time and in space. A flowing energy then kindles.
Perfection is relative social construct because time continuously unravels, no two performances are the same, and each is the perfection of that moment in time. Practising is the never ending meeting of my soul and the universe. Performance is an expression.
During a group recital of music students in those early years, the finale was given to advanced students. Carefree and playful most of the time I amused myself playing back stage. Voila! It was finally my turn, but as I sat, I had totally forgotten my piece. Staring at the keyboard, I performed instead an Impromptu composition to my Teacher’s surprise and to the Dean’s horror. It was perfect.
As the years flowed into another, I twirled and ran around in wide places; mesmerized in space not to find my niche but to find myself as part of space. I performed to claim space. The streams of bursting energy converged into sculpted grace and form – Ballet. It was total romance with space.
In another recital, I played with melodic progression, a colourful play of minor and major scales. Thus did I play the variation of Planting rice arranged by Mary Placid, OSB with orchestration specially arranged for my Solo Recital.
During my solo recital, I found adventure in harnessing speed and dynamics playing George Gershwin’s Rhapsodie in Blue on the Yamaha organ where polarities in releasing and holding back nuances in the melody was something that continually enthralled me.
All around me, music has always been explicitly clad in rhythms found in nature. At twelve, I never really understood why I had to formally learn the rudiments of music theory with graduate students. The subjects were intended for a baccalaureate degree in Music. I was given a young girl to share my experiences but turned out to be a shackle because I felt obliged to attend to her first than to my own concerns. It slowed me down but I learned what it meant to work with another person to be human and to feel it and be hurt.
Any space can be a stage. Stage is an illusion and performances are ephemeral – a fleeting figment of imagination that rests on a moment in time expanded by the supersensible. The synergy of instruments and the music creates an evanescent visual and aural sense performers project into space. The stage is a momentary space where spirits rise and souls intertwine. Cast under the spell of music, getting carried away – relinquish what must be. Catalina Ledesma, DC, the Dean of Music and my ballet teacher was bent on preparing me for performance. I preferred the serene stage where vastness of universe consoled my unchained spirit and I roused the energies as I played and danced one with nature.
The changing nature of sound from key board, percussion, strings, wind, to electric is a feast to my ears as I feel it as a spectrum of colours dressed in tones. The range of frequencies as it consumes me is a language on the expanding nature of sound. I see it as vibration emanating in form. I play also the wooden marimba. It’s warm and earthly connection resonates within me; calming a feeling of the old within.
Nature resonates with the Oneness of the Universe. Recognizing everything that it holds, integrates one into the whole. Like a fabric woven and connected to every being is Life. So, I felt I was never alone. With each point in the Universe a geometry of pulsating tones, we are all one melody combined as one symphony. It is not static but a plane of colours and tones as all of life oscillates.
The gathering of primeval force compels a Javelin throw to ride the wind and slice time as fencing rests on the same painter’s hand that holds the brush. Bewitched by the gallop, each step reverberates power. All of nature holds divergent boundaries one transforming force just as the wind roams free.
Music speaks the crescendo in sunrise, the glissando of the sea rushing to the shore, the sound of heat or the trill of the leaves, the order and harmony in nature.
Like music, I was elusive and fluid. My thought streams allegro and presto it contributes to my need for speed and impatience. For that, I was considered a difficult student to manage. Not that I was stubborn but borne in my imagination are countless possibilities.
Dreamers’ board carriages called Imagination drawn by horses named Thoughts and Creativity on the path less taken called Possibilities.
My world lies in midst of here and now. It is that space where everything glistens. Everything resounds. Where life begins.
I am a Child of the universe … and to nature I shall return when time comes. Waiting. And so I continue to dance the arabesque as I echo the perfect pitch of the universe in visual and performing arts.
This is an invitation to journey with me on this path.